How long has this booger been on my nose? That’s the question I asked myself as I peered into the bathroom mirror at work.
Now mind you, it wasn’t a big booger – rather a small flake. But a form of a booger nonetheless. I was mortified. I hate when things like that happen to me. It ranks right up there with the hem of my skirt tucked into the back of my hose, my eye makeup blown out of whack, bad breath on a bad day or black pepper stuck in my big front teeth.
Let me clarify one thing. I wasn’t picking my nose at work. I only do that in the privacy of my own home … or car. If my memory serves me correctly, it was merely an itch that needed scratching. That was about 9:30 in the morning. Ugh! Now, it was nearly time for lunch.
Still standing in front of the mirror, two questions stared back at me. Who did I see this morning? And why in the world did they not tell me?
I only share this humiliating story with you as a call to action! Let’s all agree – right here, right now – to exercise a little courtesy in times of need.
Do we just hope the situation will take care of itself? Is it really possible to ignore the glaring goof-up?
The more we pretend nothing is wrong, the more focused we get. It’s hard to concentrate on a conversation when all you can think about is that piece of food hanging on the chin of your dining companion … or a small booger sitting delicately outside your colleague’s left nostril.
At best, we try a little non-verbal communication. Instead of opening our mouths, we simply add a few extra twists or ticks to our own behavior as we telepathically communicate with the innocent victim. With our minds completely engaged, we send out silent messages. Please wipe your face. Please scrape that booger off your nose.
Well, I am here to say that my colleagues’ telepathic talents are terrible! I didn’t hear anything. Not a single vibe came my way. I am sure I got a lot of sympathy along my merry way that morning. But I sure as hell didn’t get any help.
My present horror must be some form of cosmic punishment.
Last month, a total stranger bailed me out of another potentially embarrassing situation as I stood in line for coffee. Yes, apparently, I have those often. And on this occasion, I admired this stranger’s direct and genuine approach, devoid of any suggested non-verbal hints. I respected her effortless form.
With a simple touch of my hand and a smile, she quickly and quietly whispered, “Miss, your skirt is not zipped up all the way.”
With a simple touch of my hand and a smile, she quickly and quietly whispered, “Miss, your skirt is not zipped up all the way.”
Hey, it was six o’clock in the morning and I was frantically trying to get to an important breakfast meeting. Suffice it to say, I was very grateful.
At that moment, I promised to replicate her charm and reciprocate the favor. A vow I proceeded to break two days later.
I was at a department store knee-deep in shoes, trudging through final reduction bargains and calculating how many two-for-one pairs I could carry to the counter. And there stood my test. The woman across from me at the sale rack, beautifully dressed, had apparently worked up such an effort that her front button on her blouse had come undone.
But did I say anything? No. Did I help fellow size 7 shoe fanatic? Sadly, no.
Oh, I intend to – really I did. I wasn’t trying to avoid the situation. I was just waiting for the right time to say the right thing.
Pause. Think. Pause again. Then the moment of redemption escaped.
She left, where she – and her bra – could face an untold number of embarrassing moments.
It’s easy to tell close friends or family about stubborn spinach or smudged lipstick. I know my sister would certainly pipe up, no matter who else was nearby, and tell me to wipe that booger off my nose. She’s swift, a little loud, but gets the job done. Where is she when I need her most?
Yet among the unfamiliar and unidentified, we clam up when it really counts. We shy away from speaking up. Put yourself in their shoes (something I apparently need to work on) and say something. After all, those are the moments of greatest need, when we are trying our best to impress.
So all together, let’s agree to exercise some initiative by exercising our mouths. Open you wide and say, “Ah.” Then punctuate with politeness, “Oh, you have something on your nose.” It’s that simple.
Of course, if you fail, you can always start sending out a few good vibes.
